


Lilies of the Field

by Lokne



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Black Family is evil, Courting Rituals, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, James Potter Grows Up, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), No one is surprised, Pre-Relationship, Pureblood Culture (Harry Potter), Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 16:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23372302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokne/pseuds/Lokne
Summary: “Is Narcissa engaged?”Sirius choked on his hot chocolate and winced as it burned the back of his throat. He carefully placed his mug on the table and stared at James with disbelief.
Relationships: James Potter/Narcissa Black
Comments: 3
Kudos: 213





	Lilies of the Field

**Author's Note:**

> A repost of an old fic of mine.

“Is Narcissa engaged?”

Sirius choked on his hot chocolate and winced as it burned the back of his throat. He carefully placed his mug on the table and stared at James with disbelief.

“Were you cursed by Snivellus earlier? Did he mess with your brain? Or was it that fall during Quidditch practice? I told you that using a sloth-grip roll to catch the ball that close to the rings was a bad idea.” Sirius cast a soft Lumos and aimed it at James’s eyes. 

James growled and batted away the wand. “Will you stop that! I’m serious.” James quickly held up his hand in warning when Sirius opened his mouth for his normal retort. “Don’t.”

“Fine.” He lounged against the chair and cautiously sipped his beverage. Sirius wasn’t going to allow James to take him unawares again. His throat and tongue still smarted from the burn and he wouldn’t be able to taste anything for a week, but the chocolate was too good to waste.

“Well? Is she?” James asked unrelentingly. Narcissa had been on his mind for the last three weeks and he needed to talk to someone about it. Remus wouldn’t question him, but James needed to know if he was making another mistake—like he did with Lily Evans. And the thought of talking to oblivious Peter was out of the question. The guy barely even knew girls existed, or what to do with one. So that left Sirius.

“Are we still talking about this?”

James rolled his eyes. “We never stopped talking about it.”

Sirius shook his head. “No. I distinctly remember you asking, and I asked if you had a brain injury. You said no and I accepted your moment of insanity. Conversation done. Over with. Let’s move on shall we?”

“It wasn’t a moment of insanity, Sirius. I really want to know. Is. Narcissa. Engaged?”

“Oh c’mon! Really? Of all the topics we could be discussing right now, you want to talk about my cousin? Can’t we plan how we’re going to get Snivellus back for—?”

“No. Now quit stalling and tell me about her,” James ordered. Normally he enjoyed bantering with Sirius, but tonight wasn’t it. Revenge on Snape was the farthest thing from his mind. 

“Why?” Sirius demanded, eyes sternly locked on his best friend. 

After James had met Lily Evans and decided that he would marry her, he looked up her name in  _ The Forgotten Language of Flowers _ . The picture of a lily with its pure white petals, yellow stamen, and dark green stem was the most beautiful flower he had ever seen. The meaning written next to it enthralled his thirteen-year-old mind—Majesty. And to him, Lily Evans was majestic in all of her fiery glory.

Years later, when Professor Sprout gave them a specific plant to research and cultivate, James was assigned the narcissus flower. The flowers were small and clustered close together on a branch-like stem, similar to a lilac. This time, though, the message the flower represented wasn’t as amazing—Selfishness. 

So when Sirius pointed out his cousin, Narcissa, James hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off her, and wondered if she was the human manifestation of the narcissus flower. He had never been more wrong in his life. 

Her white blonde hair fell in waves to her waist, and her gray eyes looked like storm clouds that would get darker with anger or lighten with joy. Narcissa was graceful and fluid with every action. She didn’t walk on the floor; she floated and glided through the air. Her voice was always gentle, even when she was telling someone off. 

Narcissa was generous and helped the younger students with their homework if they didn’t understand something. He had seen Narcissa in the library showing a second year the correct wand movements for Expelliarmus over and over again until the girl got it correct and Disarmed her. And when she laughed the heavens opened. 

Narcissa Black had been hatefully named for a flower that maligned her very character, while Lily Evans had been fortunate enough to receive a name that fooled unsuspecting people into thinking she was something she wasn’t—loveable. Lily Evans was a narcissus among a field of beautiful lilies.

“She’s a lily,” James said, unable to voice the words and thoughts that crowded his mind. How could he explain to Sirius that Narcissa was everything he wanted in a wife, when for the last three years he had said the exact same thing about Lily Evans?

Sirius sneered at the answer. “Have you forgotten about the real Lily you’ve been after?”

James sighed and slumped in his chair. “Yes.” 

He hadn’t told Sirius about her final rejection two months ago and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to. He had been chasing after her for years, blind to her personality and solely concentrated on her looks. He had been so sure that they were perfect for each other and that she would change when they were married. Surely she wouldn’t yell at him or hex him after they said their vows. 

James shook his head at his stupidity. He should have realized they didn’t belong together much sooner. “I gave up. She’s not worth it.”

Sirius nodded after a few moments of silence. “Good. Because I would have hexed you if you said otherwise.”

“What? I thought you liked Lily.”

“No. But you did, and that was all that mattered. As long as you continued to like her, I would have kept my mouth shut and protected her.”

James mind spun at the ramifications of what Sirius just said. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Sirius barked a laugh. “You wouldn’t have listened! And besides . . . my mother always told me who I could be friends with and who I would be obligated to marry. She tried to take away my agency, Prongs. I wasn’t going to do the same.”

James nudged him with gratitude that he couldn’t voice and Sirius nudged him back until they were shoving each other and grinning like loons. 

“From what I know, Narcissa isn’t engaged, though mother was hoping that Malfoy would ask her. She thought they would make a great pair. But then, we both know my mother is insane.” 

James watched Sirius as he wrestled with a decision. His hands were clenched and his jaw was firmly set. James remained patient, because he knew it must have been important for Sirius to take this long deliberating. He asked another of the kitchen house-elves to refill his hot chocolate and sipped it while he waited.

“Before I go any further, Prongs, you have to be one hundred percent interested in her. If you think you might back out or only got on one date just to ‘see how things work out’ then I won’t tell you any more.”

How important was it? James gulped and thought about his changing feelings. He knew Sirius wouldn’t accept a rushed answer. James wasn’t in love with her, but he knew without a doubt in his mind that he could. She was possibly his future wife and mother of his children if things went the way he wanted them to.

“I am. I don’t love her yet, but I know I will.”

Sirius nodded grimly. “I hated living at home, Prongs. It was horrible. And yet, I know Narcissa has had it ten times worse. You thought my parents’ reaction to me being Sorted into Gryffindor was terrifying, think about my aunt and uncle’s reaction when they found out their daughter was a light witch. They viewed it as a betrayal, as if it had somehow been her fault that she was born different.”

James’s heart hurt. James knew how much Sirius hated his parents and that he pretended the banishment from Black Manor didn’t bother him, but James had heard the quiet sobs late at night when Sirius thought everyone was sleeping. Because even though his mother and father were never proud of him, Sirius knew he was still wanted. James was thankful that Sirius hadn’t hesitated in showing up at Potter Manor at three in the morning a year ago after being blasted off the Black Family Tapestry. James loved having Sirius live at the manor, and his parents had welcome Sirius with loving arms. 

But Narcissa wasn’t safe. She still had to return to Black Manor every year. Narcissa was forced to deal with disappointed and vindictive parents. The fact that she had remained so caring and pure was amazing, and made James admire her spirit far more than he had ever admired Lily Evans.

“They want her to marry a dark wizard, Prongs, and it would kill her. Dark magic is cancerous and corrosive. If a light witch married a dark wizard, her husband’s dark magic would eat hers and leave her a Squib.” 

James rushed to the nearest rubbish bin and vomited. The acidic chocolate coated his throat and tongue, making him puke again and again until there was nothing left in his stomach. He kneeled on the floor in exhaustion and cast a sloppy cleaning charm on his mouth. The taste of mint almost made him want to throw up again. 

How could a mother willingly marry her daughter to someone that would steal her magic? Just because Narcissa was born with light magic in a family of dark witches and wizards didn’t give them the right to kill her.

Would they have killed his mother—Dorea Black—if she hadn’t fallen in love and married Charlus Potter? The thought was frightening. He pushed down the frantic desire to Owl his mum and make sure she was safe.

“How could they do that?” James demanded.

“Because they’re soul-sucking, heartless Death Eaters that serve an insane megalomaniac.”

“I’m not going to let that happen to her, Padfoot. Not Narcissa.” James shakily rose to his feet and leaned against the wall until he gained his strength back. He slapped Sirius on the shoulder on the way out the door. “Wish me luck!”

“Wait! Wait a—James! James! It’s almost curfew.”

He laughed. “We’ve broken the rules before. I’ll be fine.” He dropped the act as soon as he left the kitchen. His eyes were clouded with worry and determination. James understood the unspoken warning in Sirius’s story. He was Narcissa’s only chance, and he better not screw it up.

James pulled the Marauder’s Map from his pocket and looked at the dungeons. The Slytherin password had changed earlier that day and neither of the Marauders had been able to figure out what it was. James already knew where the entrance to the Slytherin common room was, but he needed the password if he was going to talk to Narcissa. Which meant that he needed someone from the inside to either tell him—which was highly unlikely, or get someone to convince Narcissa to meet him—again, highly unlikely. But it was his only option at this point. 

The thought of leaving Narcissa alone without hope for one more night twisted his stomach. She didn’t deserve it; he had to make it better. James wanted Narcissa to know that someone cared about her enough to pursue her with honest intentions and that he would fight for her if it was necessary. 

Snape always started his Prefect duties a few minutes early, and if James was right that would mean he was going to be—there! James kept an eye on Severus Snape’s moving dot and quickly made his way to meet him, because as much as James hated to admit it—he needed the slimy git’s help.

“ _ Potter, w _ hat are you doing? Pulling another one of your supercilious pranks?” Snape barked.

James shook his head and talked fast, knowing that Snape wouldn’t listen for very long, but slightly offended that Snape thought James would be so easy to spot if he were pulling a prank. “No.” He debated about his next few words, threw caution into the wind, and jumped feet first. Sometimes James hated being a Gryffindor. “I need a favor.”

Snape sneered and brandished his wand. “Where’s your sidekick mutt? Hiding in the dark? Waiting for your signal to jump me from behind?”

James resisted the urge to hex Snape. He loathed it when Snape called Sirius a mutt. “It’s just me,” he gritted out between clenched teeth. “Will you help me or not?”

Snape stared at him for a few seconds and smirked. “No.”

James silently cursed Snape in every language and dialect he could think of—which was only four. And said the one thing he never thought he would ever say to Snivellus, “I don’t love Lily Evans.” James felt selfish satisfaction at the shock on Snape’s face that faded as soon as it came. 

“You’re lying!” Snape snarled like a wounded animal.

James looked away as shame and grief assaulted him. The things he had done in the name of love for Lily Evans were revolting, and James didn’t blame Snape one bit for the utter hatred radiating from him. James had been so captivated by her that he had allowed jealousy to overpower him almost daily in his quest to win her love, and he had tormented Snape for the simple reason that Lily and Snape were friends.

“I’m not,” James whispered earnestly. “I don’t love her.” He swallowed the maligning words at the last second. James thought he was in love with the Muggle-born witch for years and he couldn’t fault Snape for falling under her charms as well. Maybe with time, Snape would realize what James had—that Lily was too selfish to love anyone but herself.

“What do you want?”

Relief washed over James as Snape agreed. He didn’t care what Snape would think of his request because as far as James was considered, Snape wasn’t important anymore. Their one connection had been Lily Evans and James no longer wanted her attention.

“Ask Narcissa Black to meet me outside the Slytherin common room and I will consider your life debt paid.”

James knew that he didn’t need to release Snape from the debt, but he knew it was the proper thing to do. If Sirius hadn’t taunted Snape, and almost caused Lupin to kill him during the full moon, then James wouldn’t have been forced to save him. For over a year, James had held the debt over Snape’s head like a noose and tauntingly toyed with it.

“I assume that if I took you on a long and convoluted route to the common room—”

“It would be a waste of time,” James agreed. 

“ _ Obviously.” _ Snape pointed his wand at the floor, but didn’t put it back in his holster as he motioned for James to follow him.

James matched his pace with Snape so it wouldn’t make the Slytherin paranoid about James attacking him. He was already on thin ice and he didn’t want to fall in. Snape could decide that he would rather be indebted to James than lead him to the common room; Slytherins were sneaky. James had never been good at trusting Slytherins, but he knew he needed to start practicing. He wanted to date Narcissa Black and he would have to show her he was different than before.

Snape paused in front of an unremarkable section of stone and glared at James. “There are three conditions.” James almost protested because he hadn’t agreed to anything, but he bit his tongue. “One, you will guarantee that this isn’t a prank and no harm will befall Narcissa Black.”

The thought of Snape protecting someone other than Lily Evans was shocking. Had Snape always done so? “I promise she’ll be safe.”

“Two, you stay in this corridor and not enter the common room, under pain of death. I will not have you gallivanting about the Slytherin common room as if you belong there. Step one foot through the door and I will curse it off.”

Why would he want to do that? Sure Sirius and James had broken in a few times and set dungbombs off, but the thought of being surrounded by dark wizards while he tried to talk to Narcissa made his skin crawl. He nodded.

“And third, you  _ will _ accept it if she refuses to meet with you.”

The last condition was much harder to agree to because he knew what it would mean for her future if she refused him, but he voiced his agreement. James rehearsed what he was going to say when Snape disappeared through the doorway. He had never talked with Narcissa before, so he had no idea how she would react. Would Narcissa be flattered or annoyed at his attentions?

“Severus said you wanted to talk to me, Potter?”

James whirled around and gazed at her. She was even more ravishing up close. He reached for the words that had fled his mind and floundered in silence. In a panic, he blurted out the first idea that popped into his mind and hoped that it wouldn’t ruin his chances. “Picnic. Uh, I wanted to ask if you’d go on a picnic with me on Saturday.”

“Picnic?” Narcissa blankly uttered. Her brow was furrowed with confusion and James wanted to smooth out the creases until her face was smooth again.

“I wanted to ask you to accompany me on Hogsmeade Weekend, but it’s still two weeks away.” James scuffed the floor with his shoe. He sounded like a dork. If Sirius ever found out how James  _ tried _ to ask out Narcissa, Sirius would never let him live it down. He couldn’t look at her in fear of her reaction to his rambling explanation. James didn’t know if he could stomach another rejection.

“That sounds wonderful, Pott—”

“James,” he said, unable to resist. His last name sounded so formal and stiff coming from her lips. His eyes darted to hers and he grinned. “Please.”

Narcissa smiled and nodded. “I would be honored to attend a picnic, James. My favorite food is Treacle Tarts.”

James laughed at her unsubtle hint. “I won’t disappoint.” James felt his mirth fade as her expression grew dark. He longed to take Narcissa into his arms and hold her, so she wouldn’t be alone.

“I know.” Her gray eyes shined with unshed tears. “Thank you, James.”

James grasped her delicate hand in his and lightly kissed her knuckles. He would have no problem falling in love with the beautiful, tender witch in front of him. And he couldn’t wait for the day when the words spilled from his lips and entered her heart. But until that day, James would diligently guard his flower’s heart as she bloomed among the lilies of the field.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr if you’re interested.


End file.
